Zach Bryan bought my painting!

*Disclaimer- You are about to read a short story, but I promise it is worth it*

It’s 5:55 on Sunday morning, and I am just now ready to attempt to articulate this story. Sunday- seems appropriate. Part of me wanted to keep it to myself, this moment in time so divinely orchestrated as an answered prayer is such a sacred gift. Ultimately, that is why I decided it should be spoken…it truly is a one in a million story- one that give so much hope and inspiration.

If you have followed my paintings on this page, you may know some of my story. My beautiful mother has battled ovarian cancer for almost a decade now. She is a walking miracle. She has experienced multiple recurrences, and just received word last week that she is most likely experiencing another. I first started painting at the beginning of her battle. You see, my mother is the true artist. I grew up admiring all of her paintings my whole life, astonished at her ability to translate such beauty. I didn’t know it then, but I think I was subconsciously trying to fill myself up with all things my mama, terrified at the thought of not having her. I very quickly came to find such refuge in art. Painting through pain became my go to. To this day, I believe my best workings are produced in times of turmoil. The biggest gift that art gives me is the ability to shift perception…to create something beautiful, to master the art of transmuting pain. When others began to admire my paintings, I developed a knowing inside. I had to do something with this gift that God presented me with, somehow, I would help my special needs son, and show my mom something in this lifetime she could be truly proud of me for. I had no idea what this might look like, just a knowing it needed to be done, and that time was of the essence.

I have talked for the last year about this series of Zach Bryan songs that I wanted to paint. It was very outside of my comfort zone and anything that I had done before.  I began my very first, “Something in the Orange” about one week after my mom made a move to Denver to be closer to her ageing parents, and real medical care we didn’t have to drive 6 hours for. The first time in my 36 years we would not be living just down the street from one another. We knew she was having new activity in her body, even on chemo. It was the hardest thing I have had to do, let her go…. specifically right now. The painting however, was effortless. I blared every single ZLB song there is and cried and sang at the top of my lungs, painting. Normally, putting out that much creative energy drains me in a sense. I almost need recovery time between paintings because it really is a spiritual experience for me. Once I started this series, I just couldn’t stop. I still can’t. (be ready for more)

After sharing my Deep Satin painting, my phone chimed to alert me Zach himself wanted that piece. I still cannot put into words what I felt in that moment. I realized this was it….what I prayed for, what I dreamt of…my “Wow, I did something bigger than I could have imagined” moment- and my mom would SEE it! She was my very first call- and I will never forget the sound of her shrieking with pure joy and pride on the other end of the line while I cried like a baby. The synchronicity of it all was overwhelming. It still is. God and my Angels, and her Angels, they had their hands all over this one.

My husband bought us tickets for the show at Redrocks for my (Sept) birthday back when they went on presale. We stayed with my mama the night before the show. I got to show her my paintings in real life and found the courage to voice to her why it meant so much to me. (I always want to be strong for her, and never want her to feel like I don’t believe she can make it through this, because she is the fiercest warrior I know) But I told her… and I cried, and she held my hand, and we cried together. I knew coming to the show that I would be getting my art to one of Zach’s Highway Boys, Lloyd, who also asked personally for my Jamie painting. When I thought I couldn’t be more excited, Lloyd took it up a notch. It was incredibly moving, that someone else that close to Zach and his music was moved by my translation as well. I left all expectations at home, excited just to know my art would be going home with Zach and Lloyd.

I had big plans of tailgating, even brought my guitar. I had felt like I needed to be as available as possible to get my art to whomever hands it needed to land to ensure it be brought to the boys. The day got away from us, we were in the moment with my mom. She was the real priority. Traffic and weather made our arrival just shy of when the gates were opened, and I thought I may have missed my opportunity. My faith told me it would all work out how it was supposed to.

If you were lucky enough to be there, you know the magnitude of the show we witnessed. It was historical, a truly spiritual experience.  I stood there with that beautiful cleansing snow falling from the sky, a sign I felt his was his mama wrapping her love around him, literally swirling around him in beauty the whole night. I cried as he sang to the heavens for her, knowing this was his moment….how much he wanted the same exact thing in his heart that I had prayed for. I cried knowing he would never have the chance to experience that in the way he had hoped for. I prayed he felt her presence as much as I did. And I cried realizing that this man had no idea that he had given that to me.

Not even 20 minutes after the show ended, Lloyd called. It was time. Elijah took over arrangements from there, and before you know it, the kindest soul we had ever met was taking us backstage amongst the artists and their families. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Zach is the gift that keeps on giving.

Lloyd came out first, with the most true excitement for his piece with his precious little girl! The comfort and genuineness that Lloyd’s big energy brought was so amazing, I felt like he was my personal buddy. Every single person that walked by took the time to acknowledge myself, my husband, and my work! Every, Single, One. Before I knew it, Charles Wesley Godwin came around the corner with his beautiful wife and shook my hand- thanking ME, beyond humbly. His energy was so pure and kind, it almost felt Christ like. I couldn’t believe that the moment was real. Before I could fully recover, Zach Bryan came. His enthusiasm for my art radiated off of him. We exchanged words that were life altering for me and that  I will never forget (those are my memories to keep). All that I can say is I could have never imagined or dreamt up the experience any better than it was. In the middle of my “fan girl” moment, he made me feel as though I was the artist and he was the fan. I was taken a back. I still am. He was so kind and full of love, so very real our exchange was. He continued to try to pay for the piece. There was no way I would allow it, this was my gift to him, it was the least I could do. He was persistent. I finally said if he wanted to give something, to please make a donation to my sons disorders foundation. Done. Another dream come true, my art was helping my son. Lloyd did the same for his piece.

All who love Zach and his music know how monumental this night was for him and his family. The fact that not even an hour off the stage, this man took time away from all of the people that he loves, from the celebration of the moment that he has so deserved for himself in his artistry to honor me and my artistry is surreal. This is the heart of the man we all love so much. And he didn’t even know the significance of it all for me. I still cry as I write this, beyond overwhelmed at all of it.

We drove home the next day and as I stared at the mountains (nature is my church), I gave thanks. There are so many emotions that you experience when true dreams come true, something I hadn’t quite experienced before. As I stared, I could feel how Zach was experiencing all of the same things, in his own way, that very same day. Only Divinity can take the credit for it all.

Today, I will spend the morning with my family, then retreat to the mountains that I live in, and I will sit and pray and give thanks. I will look around and re ground and re humble myself realizing what a small, small part I am in this big plan. Knowing that even when things don’t make sense, they do. I will watch the hawks and eagles carry my prayers straight to the heavens, and then I will come home. And I will love my kids and my husband, and I will paint.

Godspeed